So I’m finally here. I’ve finally reached it. It is currently 9:31 pm on December 31st 2013 and I’ve made it through the year.
As I look back over the past twelve months I find very few that weren’t hard, very few that didn’t find me struggling to get out of bed most days, that didn’t find me unable to sleep. I have discovered that the people who I thought cared really don’t, that the community I tried so hard to be a part of wasn’t really as welcoming as I’d hoped, and that happiness isn’t something we can expect.
But in the midst of all this sadness, of all this fear, of all this anxiety, I have found my strength.
I have found that good friends are out there, you just have to get through all the crap ones to reach them.
I have found that if I want to do something all I need is the motivation to keep wanting it.
I have found that being honest with myself about who I am is the most freeing thing I’ve ever done.
I have found that endurance teaches us life lessons.
I have found that choosing to stick to my guns and not follow the crowd is terrifying but also brilliantly rewarding.
Over the past twelve months I’ve had a little jar that I’ve put notes in every time something good has happened. In approximately 48 minutes I get to open it and read them all for the first time… When I do that I’ll put some of my favourites in this post for you. I hope that they can be an encouragement to you.
Time doesn’t stop for anyone, but tonight many people will go out and celebrate its passage. Life keeps on moving and the only way to really get through it is by taking it one day at a time. So I say just throw caution to the wind, figure out what you want to do, who you want to be, and live it, live that life. Tomorrow we’ll all wake up (some of us feeling less chipper than others) and, once again, it will be the 1st of January and we’ll still be the same people. Change is up to you; a different number at the end of the date won’t make any difference, and once you find your strength you’ll know it’s here to stay.