Tomorrow morning I’m going to Church as usual and I’m going to be helping with what we call ‘Little Church’. This is basically a way more laid back, simpler version of Sunday School for the toddlers in the Church and I absolutely love it. I love how simple the little kids are, how all they need are some toy trains and a plastic tractor to be content. These little ones are told from the day they’re born that Jesus loves them, that they are important, that they are of great worth to Him. It doesn’t mean they’re brainwashed, it doesn’t mean they’ll never be able to make their own decisions (I was brought up in a Christian home and still went through a period of turning my back on God and going a bit wild when I first went to university), but it does meant that, from the very beginning of their existence on this earth they know that, no matter what, God is always there for them.
I’ve spent a lot of time questioning God, you see. I’ve considered all the possibilities that He doesn’t exist, that the Bible is wrong, that I’ve made a bad decision in following Him. But when it’s all said and done, when I’m tired of questioning, I still believe that He is real and true and that He is my Saviour. I still know that the clouds might cover the moon and stars but it doesn’t mean they’re not there. I still know that God is always good and that in itself is a reason for me to smile. I can’t let go of Him; I’ve never been able to and, at 23 years old, I think I’m long past ever giving up on Him after seeing Him do so much in my life.
I might struggle to pick up my Bible, to sit down and pray for long periods of time, but that doesn’t change the truth. Instead I say little prayers when things come to mind, I browse the Bible on my phone when I’m on the train to and from college, I choose to sing to God when I feel too weak to do anything else. He doesn’t need me to devote hours every day to sitting with Him. Don’t get me wrong, It’s important to do this (the spending time with God part, it doesn’t need to be for hours…) but my salvation is not based on how much time I spend reading my Bible, it isn’t based on how long my prayers are. My salvation is based on what Jesus did for me, on His forgiveness, on His choice to die for me because He loves me so much.
No matter what I do, where I am in life, who I know, regardless of any of these things, God will not let go of me, He won’t turn His back on me, He won’t walk away from me, and that is all that matters. This life is not about getting married or having a great job or gaining worldly success, it’s about chasing after my Jesus and living for Him. I am so important to Him and I owe Him my life. He loves me just like He loves the little ones I’ll be spending tomorrow morning with and, just like them, I will always know this truth regardless of what happens.
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”