Since leaving my job I’ve started getting up at 7:00 am most days to go running.
I leave my phone at home and head to the beach where it’s just me and my thoughts. Every single day is beautiful, whether the sky is overcast or the sun is reflecting off the water, and I can’t Instagram it or Tweet it or Facebook it. It’s like the world stops turning when I run, while all I can hear is the tide slowly moving in and out, my lungs breathing deeply, and my feet hitting the ground.
This morning I decided to cycle instead of run and I took a slightly different route and, before returning home, took a break and sat on a bench and stared out over the beach and talked to God.
My head has been all over the place recently. Change has swooped in like an eagle swooping down to catch its pray, and with it it has removed different people and situations from my life. I have lost people who I thought would be around forever, people who knew more about me than anyone else. I left my job that had become my security blanket for the past ten months; life might get hard but I could always rely on the fact that I was going back into the office on Monday to take my mind off everything, as much as I hated being there.
I have also gained things; I’m going to college in September, I’m helping with my Church’s Holiday Bible Club and another kid’s club in the south of Ireland.
And after that I’ve already started to plan, mostly in my head, adventures next summer.
The past thirteen months have been thirteen of the hardest months I think I have ever lived. They have been relentless in breaking me down and tearing me apart, but they haven’t been wasted. I can already see God using all the stress and the struggles to change me, to make me see Him more clearly; He does not waste pain. And all these things in front of me that scare me a little bit will be opportunities to grow too.
I could never settle for the monotony of what life has been for the past year and God has used that to motivate me to make things better for myself.
One of the best things about God is that He does encourage us to make changes, but He always remains the same, He is always consistent. That is why we can find our security in Him and not be afraid that everything is changing, because He never will.