I would like to apologise for my sporadic posts as of late. I’m currently struggling to stay on a schedule what with being in work 9-5 most days, but will hopefully be back on track next week.
I almost walked out of work this morning.
I told a colleague I needed to take five minutes, went outside, burst into tears, called my Mum, and told her I had to get out. I don’t enjoy tough love but she gave it to me and, in the end, I went back inside and got on with things . Later on in the day I was talking to a colleague and he told me, “You can’t just quit everything.” This is pretty much what my Mum had said to me on the phone so I can be certain that God was trying to get a point across.
So I stayed in work. It didn’t turn out to be an amazing day, but I endured it and when I got home things started looking up. Firstly, my Dad was home. In my house we always sit down to dinner as a family and, before we start eating, we say grace. Tonight, as always, my Dad said it, but it was somehow different. Never before have I wanted to cry tears of joy at the dinner table but tonight I almost broke down. I am so grateful that I come from a Christian home, one in which the parents truly follow Christ and don’t just go to Church because that’s how they were brought up.
To hear my Dad say grace reminded me insanely of how Jesus died for the weak and lowly, for the sick and the needy. He died so those people could be used for His glory, not the people who think they’re too good and too sorted to be saved by Him. He died so that He could prove to the world that He could make my Dad well again. He may still be recovering, but in Christ He stands strong.
“On hearing this, Jesus said to them, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'”
During one of my breaks in work today I read a Tweet by Timothy Keller:
The disciples were slow, hard hearted, and cowardly. They were called on the basis of grace, not their merits.
It suddenly hit me that while in work I’m constantly asked and pushed to be this amazing, super efficient employee who does no wrong. I’ve been a Christian (in a properly committed way) for over three years and Jesus still accepts my flaws; He still loves me through them. He knows I’m stubborn and selfish and bad tempered, and He lovingly breaks me and changes me so that He can turn those things around. He doesn’t give me time frames or try to pressure me or make me feel like I should be doing more, He simply loves me, and that love it changes my heart and my mind and how I want to live.
While society asks us to be able to tick all the boxes for good grades and previous work history, God asks for nothing more than our hearts. It’s a small ask when you consider what He did for us on the cross, and how much we’re called to give in our every day lives.
At the minute I’m reading through Matthew and there are very few chapters in which Jesus doesn’t heal someone. All He requires from us is faith and He will heal all our illnesses, He will take away all the pain we experience, He will move mountains. If we believe that He can do what we ask for, then, if He is willing, He will.
“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
But to briefly return to my Dad, the amazing thing is that there must have been hundreds of people praying for Him. People in Churches across the country, people across the world, my friends, my parent’s friends… and when God sees faith like that, the faith of hundreds scattered across the world fully believing that He can heal someone, one of His children, He doesn’t ignore it. He doesn’t ignore faith as small as a mustard seed, or the faith shared by a whole army of His followers. The weak and lowly gathered together, unbeknownst to them, and prayed for the sick, and God blessed each one of us, in answered prayers and good health.
So don’t fear that you aren’t enough for God, because all He wants is your heart, no matter how bruised and battered it is.
He will heal you, He will make you well.