“I want something to look forward to in life. Is that really a lot to ask? I mean, really? Am I too old to dream?”

If you’ve been following my blog for a while you’ll know I’m currently unemployed, and last night I wrote about how my next step is to find a job so I can travel next summer.

But today I’ve been asking myself if I’m too old to still have dreams I want to fulfil, if I can still dream in the current economic climate. My first thought is that I don’t believe God wants me to give up on dreams. What He doesn’t want is for me to sit around and wait for Him to “work His magic”, He wants me to work hard to chase this dream. I want to do that; I’ve applied for six jobs in the past two days. Because the way life is right now can’t be all there is, I want something to be excited about, to look forward to.

I’m always searching for the next dream, the next exciting adventure. We all are, all humans. We want more, we want better. I’m lucky enough to have the drive to search for that, to try and find it in anything. One of the jobs I applied for was in a rather generic office-style job and, dear goodness, that job in itself will be enough to encourage me to work hard and then get out of here. I’m only 22, I don’t think I need to know what I want to do or where I want to live yet. I encourage all of my fellow 20-somethings, if you’re feeling a bit lost, not to settle for something and never leave just because it gets you out of that rut. By all means, find something temporarily, but never take your eyes away from what you want. If you, like me, want to travel next summer, don’t think you can’t do that.

Life would work out just fine if I was choosing to find a job and just settle for staying in Northern Ireland for a while, but I want something more than that. God has given me this motivation, this passion, and I’d go crazy if I didn’t try and chase after it all.

I mean I’m a writer, I have to dream. I know I can reach something with my writing, some day, and that it will be beautiful.

God made me a dreamer. He gives me purpose, He wakes me up every day and inspires and motivates me to chase after Him IN these dreams. I write for my Saviour but also because I know there are people out there and people in my life, who have secrets and fears and struggles and they don’t talk about it, they don’t tell anyone, and they fight alone. The ones who don’t eat, who are obsessed with how they look, who come from broken homes, who have no confidence and yet who pretend to be perfect, who don’t know love… my dream in my writing is that God will use me to speak to those who need to hear His words. That doesn’t feel like a big dream because I can do that from the comfort of my home.

But travelling is big and scary. It relies on me finding a job in a terrible economy while the unemployment rate rises. I’m not saying that I think God has some big plan for my adventures, I’m not trying to make it some “anointed journey”. But I believe that the fight to get to it is what God will use. I have a year in front of me in which I will meet new people, gain new friends, form relationships with people. I will enter the lives of some and exit the lives of others.

I don’t think the dream is the issue, I think the issue is how we fulfil that dream.  

Finding a job in the current economic climate involves trusting in God like never before, and in that job I will be entrusted to love people and to evangelise relationally. Our life consumes our dreams and it all works together and comes together as something more than we ever thought it could be.

So, in answer to my question, no, I don’t think I’m too old to dream. I’m too old to think that I’m invincible and that there won’t be work involved, but I’m not too old to chase after the things I want, the things that make me excited to be on this earth that I have been blessed to be on.

I am so excited to chase after this with Jesus.



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